"For the Soul" fic
Dec. 9th, 2014 12:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jadedgiantess"Fire is good for the soul."
The words are stolen from Aeron and not quite a prayer as she peals off pages from one of her purple legal pads, letting them add to the small fire she has going in the firepit on their deck. She doesn't really believe it. Fire is a process of destruction that can be beautiful and give light, but it's only the first attribute she really needs. The pages of words written in her rushed hand were the actual cleansing act.
The words get bigger and closer and then shrink back to something manageable, depending on her mood when writing the topic. There are more than a dozen pages dedicated to the things she needed to feel and hurt and rage over without worrying about but burdening someone or being petty or selfish. Profanity races through certain sections and descriptions, most of it meaningless except there's a visceral release to using ugly words to purge toxic feelings.
Other passages are shockingly analytical. Even cold. The sheet in her hand tears wrong when she thinks of that word. Cold. How it was last used to describe her, and how it's become a survival mechanism when she is not supposed to be that way. She is supposed to be exuberant control or even excessive anger, but not shut off and cold. Damn Gem for putting those words in her head, and Nicole for making her vulnerable to them. The flash of anger tells her all the poison hasn't been pulled from the wound, and she can still get sick from it. She just hopes it won't kill her
The is, at least, a small comfort in the fact the fire seems to be greedy for whatever she did manage to soak into the pages. She watches the flames dance and the paper curl and change colors to brown and then black and then red and then grey as it burns to ash. Maybe there's therapy to that. Mostly it will just make it hard for anyone to reconstruct her musings. That's enough for the moment.
The words are stolen from Aeron and not quite a prayer as she peals off pages from one of her purple legal pads, letting them add to the small fire she has going in the firepit on their deck. She doesn't really believe it. Fire is a process of destruction that can be beautiful and give light, but it's only the first attribute she really needs. The pages of words written in her rushed hand were the actual cleansing act.
The words get bigger and closer and then shrink back to something manageable, depending on her mood when writing the topic. There are more than a dozen pages dedicated to the things she needed to feel and hurt and rage over without worrying about but burdening someone or being petty or selfish. Profanity races through certain sections and descriptions, most of it meaningless except there's a visceral release to using ugly words to purge toxic feelings.
Other passages are shockingly analytical. Even cold. The sheet in her hand tears wrong when she thinks of that word. Cold. How it was last used to describe her, and how it's become a survival mechanism when she is not supposed to be that way. She is supposed to be exuberant control or even excessive anger, but not shut off and cold. Damn Gem for putting those words in her head, and Nicole for making her vulnerable to them. The flash of anger tells her all the poison hasn't been pulled from the wound, and she can still get sick from it. She just hopes it won't kill her
The is, at least, a small comfort in the fact the fire seems to be greedy for whatever she did manage to soak into the pages. She watches the flames dance and the paper curl and change colors to brown and then black and then red and then grey as it burns to ash. Maybe there's therapy to that. Mostly it will just make it hard for anyone to reconstruct her musings. That's enough for the moment.
ooc
Date: 2014-12-09 07:06 am (UTC)ooc
Date: 2014-12-10 04:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-12-09 08:01 am (UTC)Lovely fic. <3
no subject
Date: 2014-12-10 04:42 am (UTC)Danke!
ooc
Date: 2014-12-10 09:17 pm (UTC)ooc
Date: 2014-12-11 01:52 am (UTC)